Onion coaching

Needs and values assessment

vivhudson — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 11:14:15 +0000

Needs and values assessment This tool is to identify your internal motivators so we can understand your needs to provide a better experience in your work. The Needs and Values Program will help you:· Identify your top 5 needs · Gain a better understanding about what drives you· Determine the steps you might take in getting your needs met· Identify your “true” values· Begin to see that you are your values…what you are naturally drawn to· Begin to see that living a values based life brings fulfillment· Reach your goals more quickly!

PART I: NEEDS EVALUATION

Definitions:

Needs are conditions, things, and feelings that you must have to be minimally satisfied in life. Often, needs are the things that must be met before you can really “get on” with life. When you have unmet needs, you are usually “bound” or “hooked” by people, events and thoughts; you are more susceptible to being sad, depressed, angry or resentful. Remember, needs are what you must have, not what you want, prefer or deserve.Wants, distinct from needs, are conditions, things or experiences that you feel like you want to have to feel better about your self, life, etc. Wants come from past experiences, upbringing, advertising or unmet needs. When your needs are met, you find that your want list has less of a pull on you. Remember, Wants are what you want to have, but could actually live without. On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being ‘more true’ and 5 being ‘less true,’ how would you rate the following:

SECTION 1

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need acceptance from most everyone. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need acceptance from my family. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need acceptance from a particular person. 1 2 3 4 5 4. I have a VERY hard time if I am not included in a conversation or event.1 2 3 4 5 5. I have a VERY hard time if I don’t perceive that I am being accepted.

SECTION 2

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need to accomplish great things during my lifetime. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need to accomplish something during my lifetime. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to almost always be engaged with accomplishing something. 1 2 3 4 5 4. I have a VERY hard time just relaxing or doing nothing special for several weeks. 1 2 3 4 5 5. I have a VERY hard time if I don’t feel like I am accomplishing anything worthwhile.

SECTION 3

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need to be acknowledged by most everyone that I help or work with. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need to be acknowledged or complimented when I look good. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to be acknowledged by only one or just a few of my closest friends. 1 2 3 4 5 4. I have a VERY hard time if people don’t sandwich a layer of criticism between two layers of praise. 1 2 3 4 5 5. I have a VERY hard time if I don’t get acknowledged or complimented regularly.

SECTION 4

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need to be loved by many people. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need to be loved by a close circle of friends. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to be loved by one particular person. 1 2 3 4 5 4. I have a VERY hard time if I don’t believe that an important person really loves me. 1 2 3 4 5 5. I have a VERY hard time if I don’t feel loved enough. SECTION 51 2 3 4 5 1. I need to be accurate or right in most situations. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need to be accurate or right my area of expertise. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to be accurate or right all or the time. 1 2 3 4 5 4. If I am mistaken about something, I take it personally. 1 2 3 4 5 5. If I make a mistake, I take it personally and hard.

SECTION 6

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need to be cared for/loved by many people. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need to be cared for/loved by a select group of people. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to be cared for/loved by one particular person. 1 2 3 4 5 4. When I don’t feel cared for, I get resentful and even bitter. 1 2 3 4 5 5. If I don’t feel cared for, I have a VERY hard time.

SECTION 7

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need what people say to be perfectly clear. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need to be certain about what I am working on, reading about or hearing about. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to be able to hear clearly what people are saying. 1 2 3 4 5 4. I have a VERY hard time if I am not clear about something important to me.1 2 3 4 5 5. I have a VERY hard time if I am not certain about what is going on.

SECTION 8

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need a very comfortable bed in which to sleep. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need the most comfortable job there is. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need “all the comforts of home” when I travel.

1 2 3 4 5 4. If I know 1 may/will be uncomfortable in an otherwise interesting

situation/place, I’ll probably not go anyway. 1 2 3 4 5 5. When I am not comfortable, 1 am VERY grumpy or “put out”.

SECTION 9

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need to say what’s on my mind, even if it’s not always appropriate. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need others to say exactly what’s on their mind, even if I won’t like it or they don’t want to. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need only the key people in my life to communicate fully with me 1 2 3 4 5 4. When I hold back and not fully tell someone what must be said, I start winding down and lose energy 1 2 3 4 5 5. When others don’t fully communicate with me, I get UPSET, concerned or frightened.

SECTION 10

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need the option to stop things if they don’t go the way I want/need them to. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need to keep the upper hand in most situations. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to tell people what to do. 1 2 3 4 5 4. If others start telling me what to do, I react strongly. 1 2 3 4 5 5. If we can’t do it my way, I’ll likely leave or find people who will.

SECTION 11

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need to be the primary one who makes something happen. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need to be the “critical link” in bringing two people together. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to be the person who is known as someone who has the magic of getting projects completed on time. 1 2 3 4 5 4. If I don’t feel needed, I am VERY uncomfortable. 1 2 3 4 5 5. If something good happens, I could have been a part of it yet wasn’t a part of it, I feel left out.

SECTION 12

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need to do exactly what my duty is to my family and friends. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need to do my duty to my job, clients or employer. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to do my duty to my country and/or church. 1 2 3 4 5 4. If I can’t do my duty, as I see it, I feel “held back” or suppressed. 1 2 3 4 5 5. If my duty is not clear, I am uncomfortable.

SECTION 13

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need to feel physically unrestrained and free. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need for my time to be my own. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need for my thoughts, actions and choices to be my own. 1 2 3 4 5 4. If I feel obligated or expected to do something (even if I don’t mind it), I feel somewhat trapped and restricted. 1 2 3 4 5 5. If I don’t have the sense that I am free from people, circumstances or concerns, I am definitely UNHAPPY.

SECTION 14

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need everyone around me to tell the truth and not mislead or try to cheat 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need my close friends to be honest with me and not “hold back”. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to tell the truth all the time. 1 2 3 4 5 4. When someone lies to me and I find out, I get VERY upset. 1 2 3 4 5 5. When I have compromised my own integrity, I get VERY upset. SECTION 151 2 3 4 5 1. I need things around me to be in their proper place or order. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need/want to make my bed each day. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need/want a specific plan of action so I know what I am doing. 1 2 3 4 5 4. When my things are out of place or messy, I don’t like it at all. 1 2 3 4 5 5. ‘When things are said or done illogically, I don’t like it, usually.

SECTION 16

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need quiet in my workspace. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need quiet at home. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to protect my sense of equilibrium and inner peace. 1 2 3 4 5 4. When I am around commotion and noise for more than an hour or two, I begin to lose my sense of self or security. 1 2 3 4 5 5. When I lose my sense of self, I have to go to a quiet place to recover it.

SECTION 17

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need the ability and opportunity to get what I want in life, no matter what 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need all the power I can get. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need the opportunity to change the course of things. 1 2 3 4 5 4. When I feel powerless, it’s extremely frustrating. 1 2 3 4 5 5. When I have no one around me to manage or impact, I feel like a fish out of water.

SECTION 18

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need to be recognized for what I’ve done. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need to be noticed for how I look or act. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to be known for something special. 1 2 3 4 5 4. When people don’t know that I did something great, I am strongly tempted to make sure they find out, one way or another. 1 2 3 4 5 5. Accomplishment without recognition is not fully rewarding.

SECTION 19

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need to feel safe from what is likely to happen. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need to feel safe from what might, yet is unlikely, to happen. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to make sure people that I am close to are fully protected from circumstances. 1 2 3 4 5 4. When I start something new and I’m not sure which dangers to protect myself from, I am uncomfortable. 1 2 3 4 5 5. When I don’t take every possible precaution, I am uncomfortable.

SECTION 20

1 2 3 4 5 1. I need to perform a job or engage in regular work. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I need to keep busy with things 1 2 3 4 5 3. I need to do even more than I am doing now. 1 2 3 4 5 4. When I am idle, I am nervous or uncomfortable. 1 2 3 4 5 5. When I am not working, I feel guilty.

2: NEEDS SUMMARY

Summarize the Needs Evaluation on this summary form. First write the total score received for each Section (1-20) in the ‘RANK’ column. Next, circle the 5 lowest scores. These are your most critical needs

RANK NEED

_____ Section 1: Acceptance____ Section 2: Accomplishment___ Section 3: Acknowledgments/Compliments___ Section 4: Be Loved___ Section 5: Be Right____ Section 6: Being Cared For___ Section 7: Certainty/Clarity/Accuracy_____ Section 8: Comfort_____ Section 9: Communication (Pull)_____ Section 10: Control/Dominate___ Section 11: Critical Link/Be Needed__ Section 12: Duty/Obligation___ Section 13: Freedom____ Section 14: Honesty/integrity___ Section 15: Order/Perfection___ Section 16: Peace/Quietness___ Section 17: Power___ Section 18: Recognition___ Section 19: Safety/Security___ Section 20: Work

PART 3: NEEDS INDEX

Circle the word that best describes the ‘Exact Need’ for each ‘Area of Need.’

AREA OF NEED	EXACT NEED	AREA OF NEED	EXACT NEED
1. Accepted	ApprovedBe IncludedBe PermittedRespected	11. Be Needed	Critical LinkUsefulImportantBe Material
2. Accomplish	AchieveFulfillFinishRealize	12. Duty	ObligatedFollowDo Right/GoodHave a Task
3. Acknowledged	ComplimentedAppreciatedAdmiredValued	13. Freedom	UnrestrictedPrivilegedImmuneIndependent
4. Be Loved	LikedCherishedEsteemedHeld Fondly	14. Honesty	UprightnessOpennessFranknessIntegrity
5. Be Right	MoralCorrectNot MistakenTrue	15. Order	PerfectionPlacementHarmonyRight-ness
6. Be Cared For	AttentionConcernedHelpfulCared	16. Peace	QuietnessStillnessSerenityAbout Balance
7. Certainty	ClarityAccuracyAssuranceObviousness	17. Power	AuthorityCapacityOmnipotenceVigor
8. Comfort	LuxuryEaseContentedLeisure	18. Recognition	Be NoticedRememberedKnown ForRegarded Well
9. Communicate	Be HeardSpeakShareInform	19. Safety	SecureProtectedStableKnown
10. Control	DominateCommandRestrainManage	20. Work	PerformLaborIndustriousBusy

PART 4: VALUES EVALUATION

Definitions:

Values are who you are. That is, once your basic needs are met, you tend to want to express your values. Values are not needs. If you need something, it is not a value, even though it may appear to be. Once you experience your needs being satisfied and met, you see this distinction more clearly. Remember, values are what you do or how you express yourself, after your needs are met.On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being ‘more true’ and 5 being ‘less true,’ how would you rate the following:

SECTION 1

1 2 3 4 5 1. I like activities like river rafting because you never know what’s really around the bend.1 2 3 4 5 2. I’d really love to pack up and take a month-long trip to Europe (or any place abroad), and even leave next week!1 2 3 4 5 3. If I had to choose between two ways of getting something done – the exciting, yet unpredictable and possibly longer way, and the most efficient way, I’d tend to take the more exciting way.1 2 3 4 5 4. Sure, I could use a plan or map – but what fun is that, really?1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me personally than being a part of an adventure.

SECTION 2

1 2 3 4 5 1. There is probably art in everything, but only certain things are worth looking at.1 2 3 4 5 2. I tend to make whatever I touch more aesthetically pleasing.1 2 3 4 5 3. Nature is the source of beauty.1 2 3 4 5 4. If it’s not beautiful, I probably won’t like it.1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me than seeing or experiencing the beauty of things, life, etc.

SECTION 3

1 2 3 4 5 1. After people meet, see or speak with me, they tend to get “into action” about something.1 2 3 4 5 2. I like being the spark that gets people going again.1 2 3 4 5 3. It turns me on when I see people turned on because of something I’ve said or done.1 2 3 4 5 4. I tend to let people know how they can get the job done more easily and more productively.1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me personally than being a catalyst or lever for change or movement.
SECTION 41 2 3 4 5 1. When someone asks me for directions, I usually take them a part of the way or draw a map so I am certain they won’t get lost.1 2 3 4 5 2. I tend to put other people’s needs and concerns ahead of or equal to my own.1 2 3 4 5 3. If I couldn’t assist people or make some definite and powerful contribution, I’d begin to question what life was all about.1 2 3 4 5 4. I get upset when [ see people not being served or assisted when they easily could be.1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me than contributing or serving people or humanity.

SECTION 5

1 2 3 4 5 1. The act of inventing or making up new things, ideas, art, form or function is very appealing and energizing to me.1 2 3 4 5 2. I like to make things.1 2 3 4 5 3. I get no personal reward from just watching or repeating someone else’s ideas; they have to come from or be measurably customized by me.1 2 3 4 5 4. I don’t get bored; I find something creative to do or get involved with.1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me personally than creating something that didn’t really exist before I got involved.

SECTION 6

1 2 3 4 5 1. I would have really liked to have been a Christopher Columbus-type person, discovering something that had not been discovered before.1 2 3 4 5 2. I like finding the wrinkle in just about anything.1 2 3 4 5 3. I love finding out new things about me and others.1 2 3 4 5 4. Once I’ve found ‘’it”, I go looking for another “it”.1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me personally than discovering new things or new ways with things.

SECTION 7

1 2 3 4 5 1. It’s important to me to express my feelings, even when it gets in the way of things.1 2 3 4 5 2. I am grateful that I can really experience the full range of emotions.1 2 3 4 5 3. I am glad that I can cry.1 2 3 4 5 4. I am able to laugh a lot.1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me personally than experiencing my feelings and emotions. Section 8:1 2 3 4 5 1. It’s important that someone step forward and take charge.1 2 3 4 5 2. I tend to like to “rally the troops”, to get people moving forward together.1 2 3 4 5 3. I like to be called on to lead a team of people.1 2 3 4 5 4. When I lead, I don’t put up with anything from anybody.1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me personally than leading people.

SECTION 9

1 2 3 4 5 1. I feel compelled to be the best that I can be.1 2 3 4 5 2. I tend to be the most able and qualified person I know of in my area or field – and I feel good about that.1 2 3 4 5 3. I’d strongly prefer to be a master of a trade than a “jack of all trades”.1 2 3 4 5 4. I would be fully willing to be completely ignorant in several important areas if it meant that I could be a master of one.1 2 3 4 5 5. Nothing is more important to me personally than to be master or the master of my trade.

SECTION 10

1 2 3 4 5 1. A strong and consistent theme throughout my life has been my quest of personal and physical pleasure.1 2 3 4 5 2. I can never “feel good” enough.1 2 3 4 5 3. Without a lot of pleasure, what’s the use of living.1 2 3 4 5 4. If it feels good, I do it.1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me personally in life than experiencing as many forms of pleasure as possible.

SECTION 11

1 2 3 4 5 1. I get high from being included in other’s lives or plans.1 2 3 4 5 2. If the phone doesn’t ring or I don’t get letters from friends, I tend to wind down or get depressed.1 2 3 4 5 3. We are so lucky that there are 6 billion people on this planet! (More people to love!)1 2 3 4 5 4. The bond between two people is God’s greatest gift to us.1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me personally than to be very connected with people. SECTION 12:1 2 3 4 5 1. I will shop at a store with higher prices but with clerks who are really nice and helpful.1 2 3 4 5 2. It is better to be polite than to get what you really want in a situation.1 2 3 4 5 3. I am upset when people are not polite or nice to me on the phone or in person.1 2 3 4 5 4. I am so sensitive that I can’t be around people who are upset, needy or loud. I protect my “space”.1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me personally than being sensitive and/or nice; or being around those who are.

SECTION 13

1 2 3 4 5 1. I have a strong relationship with God or the “universal being”.1 2 3 4 5 2. I have surrendered my life to God’s will for me.1 2 3 4 5 3. I get tremendous pleasure and strength from praying, meditating or being with God.1 2 3 4 5 4. If there wasn’t really a God, I would create one for myself.1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me personally than being in constant touch with God.

SECTION 14

1 2 3 4 5 1. I enjoy passing on information and ideas to the next generation.1 2 3 4 5 2. When I teach others, I get tremendous satisfaction.1 2 3 4 5 3. It almost doesn’t matter what the subject matter is, I just love to teach.1 2 3 4 5 4. I get pleasure from teaching even to a class of one.1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me personally than to teach.

SECTION 15

1 2 3 4 5 1. I tend to justify the means to get to an end I really want.1 2 3 4 5 2. Many people are just born to lose.1 2 3 4 5 3. I compete well, with a group or against myself.1 2 3 4 5 4. I get a tremendous high from pulling something off or winning.1 2 3 4 5 5. There is nothing more important to me personally than winning at something.
PART 5: VALUES SUMMARYSummarize the Values Evaluation on this summary form. First write the total score received for each Section (1-15) in the ‘RANK’ column. Next, circle the 5 lowest scores. These are your most “true” Values

RANK VALUE

___ Section 1: Adventure___ Section 2: Beauty___ Section 3: Catalyst___ Section 4: Contributions/Service____ Section 5: Creativity____ Section 6: Discovery/Learning____ Section 7: Emotions/Feelings___ Section 8: Leadership___ Section 9: Mastery____ Section 10: Pleasure__ Section 11: Relatedness___ Section 12: Sensitivity/Niceness___ Section 13: Spirituality/God____ Section 14: Teaching___ Section 15: Winning
PART 6: VALUES INDEXCircle the word that best describes the ‘Exact Value’ for each ‘Area of Value.’

AREA OF VALUE	EXACT VALUE	AREA OF VALUE	EXACT VALUE
1. Adventure	RiskThe UnknownThrillDanger/Dare	9. Mastery	The BestProficiencyExcellenceExpert
2. Beauty	AppreciationGraceRefinementMagnificence	10. Pleasure	SensualityIndulgenceGratificationHedonism
3. Catalyst	Impact/MoveTouch/Turn onUnstuck-ererCoach	11. Relatedness	ConnectedNetworkerLinked/AlliedBe Structure
4. Contribute	ServeImproveAugmentAssist	12. Sensitivity	GraciousInvitingPleasantTender
5. Creativity	Be SourceDesignInventSynthesize	13. Spirituality	GodFaith/TrustEternityReligion
6. Discovery	LearnDetectLocateRealize	14. Teaching	InstructEducateTrainIlluminate
7. Feelings	EmotionsDramaSentimentEmpathy	15. Winning	Take/Get/ OwnCompeteEngageVictory
8. Leadership	InfluenceManageGuideMotivate

© 2000, Cheryl Weir and Associates. 610.566.2543 cheryl@cherylweircom www.cherylweir.com Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this assessment tool as long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is included. All rights reserved. Coach University,Inc ©. www.coachu.com

Comforting yourself??

vivhudson — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 15:05:35 +0000

How many times do you ‘reward’ or comfort yourself because you feel you deserve it? Often we reach out for ‘comfort food’, a cigarette or glass of wine because the mood strikes us or it has become a habit. The reasons we find may be varied. Sometimes it is boredom, it seems to make you feel better, you feel you deserve it – it helps you unwind at the end of the day or it gives you a few moments to yourself to contemplate the world. Whatever need that caused you to use that comfort the first time, most likely works at a subconscious level today. In order to change that habit you may want to pause and reflect on that ‘first’ time and what it represented to you and how it is still relevant today. It may stem as far back as when you were a child. That sweet treat may represent a feeling of being loved or that cigarette may be something that you did that your parents didn’t know about and gave you a feeling of power. What form does your comfort take? Is it food, laying on the couch, inactivity, a cigarette or a glass of wine? How many comforts do you give yourself each day or each week and what do you tell yourself to justify it? Many times the feeling afterward can be guilt, the reward is short lived and sometimes some people feel ashamed. This then makes you feel worse so you do it all again to make yourself feel momentarily better again! It may be that you forgot about even feeling better and now it is just all a bad habit that you wish you could shake.

Instead of comforting yourself when you deserve it – try celebrating yourself. How do you like to celebrate? Do you want everyone to know or would you want to keep it to yourself? In what ways could you celebrate yourself so you don’t continually reward yourself with things that are not good for you? How many bad foods or bad habits do you need to have before you realize you are not comforting yourself and in fact disrespecting yourself? Will it be a bar of chocolate, a few lollies or chips every day for the next 5 years? Who is that respecting and how worthy do you feel?

You may like to think that if you eat or drink you may as well have something you like and enjoy – and rightfully so in this world of plentiful food and plentiful choices. If you choose to have something on the less than healthy food option – do you have a boundary or do you eat so much of it all the time it is now an ingrained habit more than a comfort? By creating a boundary you can know that when you have it – you do deserve it and you won’t be left with that feeling of guilt. There are plenty of guilt-free options if you want to consider them. When do you decide how much is too much? How do you know and when will you tell yourself? What will be the alarm bell in your head going off to say it is time to stop and think? Perhaps first, you need to consider some of the consequences of living an unhealthy existence. What health problems do your parents have? Genetically inheritable diseases play a major role in the health outcomes we can expect. Do you have a family history of diabetes or heart disease? If you are a smoker you may feel the warnings on cigarette packets do not necessarily apply to you. What would be your wake up call? The reality may be for 10, 20, 30 or even 40 years of pleasure you may have the same number of years in a diseased state. At what point would you consider your comfort is no longer a comfort? The impact of any chronic diseased state will affect others around you and impact on the options you have for your own life and independence. When the pain of staying the same out weighs the pain of changing, most likely then a shift will happen. How much more powerful would you be, if you could beat that challenge now before the pain gets so bad and it really gets tough? So how else could you take a moment to celebrate yourself – to say “I had an achievement today!” – no matter how big or how small? What could you do for yourself that respects you and respects your body? As you are reading this – try patting yourself on the back – how does it feel? It may feel a little contrived but you could admit it did make you feel that little bit better. Think about your hobbies or things you really enjoy doing. Perhaps there is something there that you could take to enjoy for 1, 5 or 30 minutes? You could also ‘save up’ for a big celebration – buy something nice, take a night off, pamper yourself. Make a little brag book for yourself with all the great and wonderful things you have accomplished – from the little stuff to the big stuff. This is also a great tool to look at when you have your “down” or less focused days. If you really want to look – you will have something to celebrate in each and every day. You may celebrate the fact that you took time to exercise, you helped a friend, you helped yourself, you said ‘no’ when you usually say ‘yes’. You could celebrate the great health you and your family have today. If you think about your day and it doesn’t seem that great, celebrate the fact that it could have been even more challenging than it was. If it was challenging – what did you learn? Now - there is cause for celebration! If you look at life in a more open and grateful way – you will find less need for the comfort and more reason for celebration. What could happen if you celebrated all the great things or small things in your life just a little bit more? Take a look at my ‘Place for gratitude’ and share some of yours if you like.

Share your gratitude

vivhudson — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 14:50:13 +0000

At a suggestsion of a fellow ICA member I have decided to include a place for gratitude here on my blogsite. Here I would like to share some of my gratitude and would also like to hear about any place or reason for gratitude that you may have in your life. Kind of a bit of ‘chicken soup for the soul’, chocolate would probably suit me better as an analogy.

Today my gratitude extends to the opportunities that lay out there for me. I want this gratitude to help enthuse me to seize them, to face the challenges they may give me and the opportunities to learn.

It is easy to be thankful for the many obvious things in our life – health, families, friends, a place to live – so much of this we take for granted in our day to day lives. I consider what specifically can I be grateful for in each of these areas?? If I can think of a more unique aspect, perhaps the way my son or daughters gave me a big hug today or the way my husband laughed at my jokes, rubbed my feet, my friend gave me fresh grapes from their vineyard, the people at my work were happy today, I can still touch my toes. This gives me a fresher sense of gratitude and more of a taste for my life. It also opens my eyes to be more observant and ‘live’.

I hope that you can ‘trust’ me to share your gratitude for whatever reason you would like!

So what about those New Year Resolutions?

vivhudson — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:20:20 +0000

With this Christmas upon us, I thought it was timely to talk about resolutions. I wonder how many of us actually make a resolution and how many follow through with what that is. The easiest thing for any of us is to stay the same, each day – that way we know what to expect and we know how to respond. So what is it about change that can make it so challenging? Many things that hold us back from change can be the doubt or fears we hold in our own minds about what is possible. We may fear if we challenge something, we may not get it right the first time, someone will think badly of us or even get angry. We may think we couldn’t do it, maybe we don’t even really want to do it – yet. What we are doing now gives us so much comfort. How long are you willing to live with that comfort before it no longer feels comfortable? Or – what would you regret if you never took the opportunity to do what you really wanted to when you had the chance?? Consider you are at the end of your life – what would you like to look back on? Is there some nasty habit you wish you had broken, is there something exciting you would like to have tried such as skydiving or scuba diving? Did you want to write a book, travel, change jobs or spend more time just being?? Many of these things are at your fingertips if you are willing to commit to giving it a go. The reality of it all is that many of us give up just when we are about to succeed. So – what are the real costs of not following through on your New Years Resolution? Will another year simply sail by and nothing really change? What feelings do you get when you meet someone you haven’t seen for a while and they tell you about some major accomplishments they have made? Does that leave you thinking – ‘well I haven’t really done anything’ and leave you feeling a bit empty or worthless? Would you like to be that person with their nose to the wind sniffing out the next opportunity or simply enjoying the journey of life? Would you like to be the person that thinks life is pretty good, has a relaxed persona and nothing ever seems to be a problem. What could you do in your life to give yourself some of that right now – today? How often do we wish our lives away? When we are at school we just want to finish, learn to drive and start to live. Once you find your first real job, what are you thinking now? Maybe you have young children and every day seems filled with burden. Maybe you have teenagers and you are still trying to work out where their personalities have gone. Maybe the kids are off your hands and you find your nest is empty and you don’t quite know how to fill it again. So looking to your year ahead, sit back and ponder about something that gets you excited, something that fills you with joy, contentment or just puts a smile on your face. Could that be the New Years Resolution you will be resolute to? If your resolution is to quit smoking or lose weight – think hard about what rewards maintaining the comfort zone you are now in. Consider what the downfalls are. Which side is winning? Now think about what your life would look and feel like if you were able to control and act positively against your nasty habit. Is that something that is putting a smile on your face? The only things you need to achieve this are commitment and a place to find the support you need on your way. For smokers, it may be finding support through the use of nicotine replacement therapy, having your partner quit at the same time, asking for positive reinforcement from those around you or creating a daily journal of what is happening for you with a written goal to support your focus. If you want to manage your weight – do you in your heart and mind truly believe you can do it?? Commit to this with a positive affirmation of I can do it and I will do it! Get the information you need on diet or exercise. Use a support program if it helps you strengthen your focus and don’t give up! Find a friend to work out with and again get those around you to support and encourage you. You are worth it! Don’t think that if you have a bad day that it means every day after that will be a bad day too. As you begin to make some positive gains, tap into that power and positiveness will grow inside you. You may think I tried that before and it didn’t work or I did not succeed. Past experiences do not necessarily mean that pattern will repeat itself. The key is to look back at that past experience and learn from it. What could you do this time to overcome a previous challenge? Remember again, many people give up just before they really succeed. Your goals could be more aligned with a lifestyle change, career change or travel. Spend some time visualizing what this will look like so you know exactly what you need to go after. With a clear picture in your mind, it is far easier to find the action steps you need to put this change in place. Before the 1^st of January, create an action list of 100 steps – the smaller the better, to piece together what you need to do to attain your goal. These steps can include a bit of self care on the way. If you don’t have a clue about what change you need to make, take stock of how much fulfillment you get from your life today. If your life is OK but you don’t exactly walk around with a smile on your face each day – your resolution could be to look for 3 positive things in your day, each day. You will be surprised how filling your life with the gratitude of what you have already can change your perspective. This can really change your life! So for your New Years Resolution, think about what would make this coming year different from those years before it. Whatever you decide – COMMIT to it and TRUST yourself you CAN do it! Let the journey begin….

For me as a coach

vivhudson — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:52:32 +0000

For myself as a coach, I endeavour to learn more about tools I can add to my toolkit as a coach. I also work to live in a life of fulfillment by striving to be the best I can at whatever I choose – the biggest factor here is commitment and belief in myself. As a coach, I understand what it is to be listened to through the experience of being coached myself and to try different coaches and understand what each individual offers. As a coach, I am humble in my service to others through the deep privilege of sitting in that honoured place of listening at a level many of us may never experience. Through this commitment, I deliver myself to my worth.

To be a coach

vivhudson — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:49:55 +0000

An important part of dedication to any profession is ongoing commitment to training. Coaches can continually work to develop more tools to add to their toolkit. Coaches evolve through their own journey of self discovery and their commitment to what they do. A coach is generally a person who loves to help others and feels fulfillment from this. Many people are natural coaches in the way they listen to people and how they don’t necessarily ‘buy in’ to peoples stories. Sometimes those that work in human resources or psychology naturally develop to take on more of a coaching approach to what they do. A coach does not necessarily need to have experience within the field they are working in. Often this unbiased approach can result in new solutions found outside the norm.

How much will it cost?

vivhudson — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:48:55 +0000

Coaching fees will vary a lot depending on the type of coaching needed, the experience and availability of the coach. Executive coaching can be in the realm of several hundred to thousands of dollars. Life coaching could be from anything from $50 a session for coaches to several hundred dollars for more experienced coaches. The consideration for how much you want to pay for a coach will be the investment you are willing to make in yourself and what you potentially can gain from coaching. In the field of executive coaching, individuals can stand to benefit by thousands of dollars through career advancements they may make as a result of their coaching experience. If you could feel more joy and fulfillment in your life – what would you be willing to invest? Realistically the gains you make from coaching can benefit you for the rest of your life. If you believe that you would not receive value from a coaching relationship, it may be linked to how you see your self worth. Be clear in your mind that coaching is investing in yourself. Coaches will have a schedule of fees. These will be based on individual sessions or on a group of sessions over often a 12 week or 3 month period. If you are working on changing a habit a minimum of 12 weeks is best used to get the best results.

How to find a coach

vivhudson — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:47:45 +0000

The internet is a wealth of information. You can do a search for coaching on there and be bombarded with possibilities. How do you sift through it all to find what you are looking for? Many coaches have a niche where they actively coach in such as Executive, Career, Relationship, Life or Spiritual coaching. Many of these can be broken up even more to areas such as relocation, coaching within a specific profession or even health or weight control issues. Adding these kinds of word to your search can help. If you are interested in face to face coaching you could add your locality to the search.

Contacting a coach training institution will usually prove fruitful with a list of the coaches that they have available or of past graduates. There may be local coaches who advertise through local community publications or telephone listings. The ICF also has a list of coaches on their website.

The main thing is to be sure when you find a coach, that you are comfortable with their style and they fit your needs.

Credentialling

vivhudson — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:45:25 +0000

You may want to look at a coaches credentialing to see what formal training they have. As coaching has not yet achieved a high level of accreditation it is good to look for coaches who are members of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and have achieved their competency standards. You can question the coach as to where and how they received their training if you feel it is important to you to know. The best way to know what impact a coach has had is by word of mouth or through testimonials of what others have said about their coaching experience with an individual coach. Many coaches will have this information available if you ask.

Coaching medium

vivhudson — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:42:04 +0000

The other thing to consider when finding a coach is what medium will work best for you. Some people prefer face to face sessions where the coach and client meet at a mutually convenient place. This may work better for people who are very visually oriented or enjoy that face to face contact. This will mean you will need to find a good coach that works in your locality. Another medium is phone coaching – this allows you to access many coaches globally. Generally sessions via phone coaching can be more concise and often clients feel less vulnerable and therefore are more comfortable revealing thoughts about themselves. This is an important part of coaching as it is often these thoughts that hold us in our limiting patterns of behaviour. With the access to technology, global coaching can occur ‘face to face’ with the use of web cams and internet based communication. Often email or brief phone conversations may be available between sessions. Many people will grow to enjoy the mutual enjoyment of being in a coaching relationship and look forward to their subsequent sessions